What do you think of relationships ending in separation? Is it a good thing? A relationship falling apart can destroy the bereft individual to a point of no return. It is indeed rare to see a couple, so much in love, separate without one or both suffering major mental breakdown at some point. Wise men for ages have been warning us not to fall in “love trap” because of the dangers attached to it.
Despite of slippery road of love, people all over the world are trotting in the “love path” not knowing where it is going to take them. Only few “love seekers” go on to get married, raise children and live happily ever after. Most fall apart somewhere along the way. Of those who fall apart, some of them drown themselves in misery and self-loathing. Their pain, having lost the one they love makes them feel totally inadequate, betrayed and lost. The more they live, the more it feels like life is meaningless without their beloved. The thoughts that run through their mind don’t help but fuels to the raging fire of abandonment screaming “I’m not good enough.” The more an individual spends time trying to address the cause of separation, the more guilt and sense of betrayal piles up. The situation of lovelorn victims can spiral continuously downward if their emotions are not checked and stopped.
Understanding the nature of human psyche is crucial to come out of the “love trance” and function normally as if nothing ever happened. An individual needs to realize that life is not always about getting what one wants rather life means to let go everything that holds us back from living.
I’m writing this piece with this understanding. For three strenuous years, I wallowed in the pool of misery having lost the beloved of ten beautiful years. I went down and down to reach the rock bottom as I spent my days trying to win back my lover, trying to convince myself and the world around me that my relationship had not come to an end. The fact of the matter was it had ended and there was no going back in time to undo the damage. I learned that life moves on and one can’t stop living life because somebody somewhere along the way decided not to be a part of my life any more.
Last three years has taught me a lot of lessons. The first and the foremost is this feeling that I need to let go of emotions that is holding me back from living, be it a failed relationship, a failed career choice, or a failed idea of anything that takes me to a place where I feel miserable. My struggle has taught me to filter my thoughts and not allow any thoughts that do not benefit me. I have learned say “No matter what life goes on and I’m ready to face everything that comes my way.”
If any of you is in a similar situation, left broken and bereft my the one you loved so dearly, I would like to encourage you to try and let go of that person. Accept your present reality. Accept that person you wanted so much to be there in your life isn’t there anymore. Accept that you have to carry on and live even though you were promised a life time of commitment. The moment you learn to accept the reality as it is, things will get better. You will slowly start to move back to feeling normal again when you start telling yourself everyday “This is my life, it is not perfect but I’m going to persevere.”
Another big lesson I’ve learned is life only throws at you what you can handle. You have come to experience separation in your life because you can handle it. You just need to push yourself a little more for a while and when you come out of this hardship; you will feel stronger than ever before. Tough times build a person from inside, it makes you ready for things that you thought were impossible.
I still suffer from bouts of insecurities and wish things were different. But these feeling don’t last as I try to turn my focus into good things in my life. I have so much to be thankful and appreciative of this life. The irony of life is the more you let go, the more you get in return but if you try and keep hanging on to things even if it is wishes to detach from you then you also lose everything else you got.
You may be standing at this critical junction in your life, hating yourself and the world around you for the unfair treatment. Stop it, take charge of your life, and accept that things are not perfect rather very far from it. When you can accept and let go, miracles will happen in your life. You are facing this situation because you are here to learn to let go. Let your dark past go as bright future is awaiting you right around the corner.
OZ crew
 |
| Next Blog |
No comments:
Post a Comment